MARY'S VIEW

(Written by Jenny Calvert. From the book, "Short and Sweet Family Album" by Susan King)

Mary committed these things to memory and considered them carefully. Luke 2:19

I see it all, like a quick swirl in my head, His life as a flash before my eyes in one scene: my belly large with the weight of my baby, the birth pains, His first cry, the taste of His neck, the night song I sing in His ear, the scraped knees, a hug, and a kiss. I see Him grow in size, and His grin with teeth that have given way to ones that seem so large for His small face, I hear His voice and smell the sun in His dark curly hair. I see Him run with all His might and climb a tree. I watch Him change into a young man with eyes of such love. He has an aim, a goal in His heart, and I let Him go.

I want to scream, but from my throat emits some kind of moan that sounds strange to my ears, and tears gush from my eyes. Through the pools I see so much blood..so much that no hug from me would ever fix it. I see the dark welts rise from His body and the thorns that pierce His head. His parched lips, begs a mother to run and save her child from this place. I want to yank out those nails that hold my son, my baby boy, my firstborn, my love, on that ugly cross. I want to give Him water. I want to hold Him in my arms. I want to clean and wrap His wounds. I want my son.

I knew He was from God the day the angel came to me. I knew from my son’s talk that He had to do what He came to do, but this? I hate this! I  want to stop it all. I never dreamed it would be as bad as this. No mother’s love would mend this.

I hear Him groan in pain. I groan with Him. As His mother, I want help, but I can’t seem to move. I can only watch and wait. The old man named Simeon had said that a sword would pierce my soul, and now the pain in my heart bears its truth. I hear Jesus say some words, and His friend takes me in his arms and turns me to change my view. I can’t see Jesus now, but I know... my first-born son is ready to die, and in my heart, part of me dies with Him.

Dear Father, We grieve on the day that Jesus died but we can only imagine the grief that Mary felt that day. Thank you for her sacrifice, also. In the name of Jesus, Amen.