As Jesus approached Jerusalem and saw the city, He wept over it. Luke 19:41
I admit-I am a crybaby. It does not take much to turn on the water valves of my blue eyes. The event does not even have to be sad; I just cry. I hear music that moves me; I cry. A baby is born; I cry. I take the bread and wine in church; I cry. Two at an altar say, “I do!”; I cry.
When I was a child, my dad used to send me out the back door to the yard to cry at the light pole. It was not fun to wail at a light pole. I am told I was loud. As an adult, I have learned to weep in hushed tones, only drops that roll down my cheek, pool on my lips, and spill off my chin.
All my life I have tried to squelch this soft heart of mine, to obey a self-made rule of, “Be strong! Don’t wear what you feel on your sleeve!” Yet when I hold back, a hard lump in my throat swells to such a size as to force the fluid right to my eyes. Now with my eyes wide open, I am in the war of, “to bat an eye, or not to bat an eye.” If I give in and blink, I’m lost. The flood gates open to gush out, and drench my shirt. Now my ugly flaw is there, for all to see.
Then God points me to three verses in the Bible which makes me ask, “Is it a flaw for me to cry?” 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Psalms 56:8 says, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” And last, but by no means least, is a tiny little two-word verse, a verse though small in size, spoke to me with a loud shout, “Jesus wept.” John 11:35 (ESV)
Maybe God has a plan for this soft heart of mine. I had viewed my tears as being weak, but could it be that God shows His strength on the altar of my soft heart? Since God keeps my tears in His jar, does this mean that they have worth? The Bible says that Jesus cried. So if God shed tears through His own Son, why should I feel the need to try and hide mine? To amend the craft of God, was wrong.
I have made a choice to be free from the bonds of forced dry eyes. I will deny there is shame in my tears. God does not send me to the light pole to cry, but holds me in His arms of love. I know one day He will wipe away all my tears, but for now I will claim this leaky valve, linked from my heart to my eyes. God’s gift to me was this soft heart, so I will let this light shine; I will let my blue eyes cry. Jesus wept, so with a hanky in hand, and God’s big jar, I will let the tears roll too.
Dear Lord, Thank you for handcrafting each of us perfectly with tear ducts which have purpose. Amen
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